. . . The Morrissey Scale!

I’ve come up with a method of measuring one’s ennui. Actually, two methods. The first is an X/5 rating of how much like a Morrissey song you’ve been feeling lately. Simple, but subjective, this is the Basic Morrissey Scale.

Slightly different, but the same in spirit, is the Objective Morrissey Scale. For this one, you take the number of Morrissey (or The Smiths) songs you’ve been listening to on repeat in an average day, and that’s it. Obviously, as his career continues, the maximum will keep rising, and as a result you may be inclined to think that a 12 on the OMS is becoming less meaningful; however, I say that if you’re listening to a dozen hand-picked Smiths/Morrissey songs on loop, that’s a bad weekend no matter how you look at it.

That said, have some Smiths!