So, why’d they call it “Into Darkness” if it had such oversaturated lighting? I kid, I kid. But really, the lens flares were bothersome. Just, obscuring characters’ faces when they’re trying to emote, serving no purpose. It’s fun to mock, sure, but really – why? I found the gratuitous lighting nonsense to deprive attempted dramatic moments of drama.
Equally baffling was the decision to cast Benedict Cumberbatch as Kahn Noonien Singh. I mean, he made an excellent villain, but he would have been just as menacing as John Harrison. I don’t want to throw around heated terms like “racist” or “whitewashing,” but somewhere there’s a young Mexican actor going hungry because of this decision.
That’s another joke, folks. But, again, I mean it – why couldn’t Whitey McGringo have stayed a John? Would not a John punch as hard? If you cut him, would he not not-bleed on account of glazed-over character backstory? Backstory vital to the Kahn character, backstory which they opted to barely feature, once again rendering the use of Kahn . . . useless. And his voice always sounded too processed and like it was coming over a PA system instead of out of a human mouth within the area. Pulled me out of the film with that, like Bane all over again.
Oh, gee, hope I didn’t spoil anything, there. From here on in, spoilers will be in
strikethrough and ROT13. You’re welcome.
Really, to me, the movie played out, at its best, like a different sci-fi action flick in a Star Trek costume, and at its worst, like a 12-year-old’s fanfiction. “What if
Xvex qvrq? And then, Fcbpx lryyrq XNUA! And at the end, Fgnesyrrg UD tbg qrfgeblrq ol n fcnprfuvc! Wouldn’t that look bitchen!?”
Mythology gags and in-jokes were poorly placed, again robbing drama of drama. They get actual twins to play twin alien girls Kirk was in bed with, but they couldn’t get an actual Indian guy to play an Indian? Sorry, sorry, I know, I’m on it again. And while, yes, I do take issue with that – not against Mr. Cumberbatch, mind you – it wasn’t the biggest blow to my enjoyment.
We’re back to the fact that it felt like Die Hard IN SPACE (and also Star Trek costumes, why not?) more than Star Trek. Everything fell pretty well flat, and while it could have gotten away with a C- as a not-good Trek film, it felt almost like they went out of their way to Get It Wrong.
I wanted to like it. I tried to like it. It had its moments, but not enough of them, not well-done enough, and overall . . . D.
Though, at least they didn’t give Benedict a godawful spray-tan…